Being Pregnant is Hard to Do

May24

I was really excited about being pregnant the 2nd time around.  I was so sick with Daphne and frankly so busy that I wasn’t slowed down at all until the last few weeks.  It is different to be a free spirit and to have a toddler to be accountable for.  There was one point when I looked at plane tickets out of PDX leaving that same day because I felt that everything would be better if I were on a plane to Greece.

And it’s been tough, in fact, it’s been a real challenge.  If it is even at all possible, I have been more sick this time around.  There is a 50% chance of Hyperemisis recurring with any future pregnancies if you get it one time.  I was lucky enough to draw the short straw.  Eating has been a real challenge.  I am usually really big about food.  I’m always in the kitchen making some new concotion or doing some new experiment.  When I was first pregnant, I couldn’t enter the kitchen at all, and it was still looking bad as I rounded 25 weeks.  We ate out a lot and spent WAY more on food than any 3 person family should be spending but I truly felt that I couldn’t help it.  What is worse, I was not eating good foods at all.  Any attempt at a blanced diet was always met with me only being able to eat the one thing in the fridge that didn’t make me sick full time until I found it revolting.  Things are better now, but I can’t say that I enjoy food.  Every time I go to eat something that I have made that I usually find delicious, I find it horribly mediocre.  Even if I like something one time a lot, it is generally not interesting when I try to go for it a second time around.  I can at least tolerate foods, and truthfully, the more bland the better.  I do hope that I can enjoy food again in the future.

When I got smacked with the Gestational Diabetes diagnosis, it felt like a slap in the face.  Now not only did I find food neither tasty nor fun, many of the fun foods were risky to eat, so they were out.  I had to totally reevaluate what I could eat, and it’s been a process.  At first I felt like it was totally hopeless.  There was no way I was going to make it, and maybe I could just pour on the drama.  After all, going through these two major obstacles AND adding the fact that this is going to be a VBAC is a lot more pregnancy related stress than any sane person needs.  It seems to be sorting itself out as time goes on.

I’ve had to break my terrible sugar habit.  I’ve done it before, but I feel great about it now.  After I graduated from high school I spent the next year eating almost nothing with any sugar in it, and I did great.  However, I succumbed at some point to snickers bars and ice cream.  I became a HUGE ice cream freak, and I still am today.  I never hesitated to eat any sugar though, and in fact, I had little willpower.  It has been hard to break that.  I’ve gone from needing ice cream every night to being satisfied by the occasional watermelon or strawberry.  Though I still do miss ice cream, I feel like I could make ice cream and savor it rather than gobble it.

And truth be told, it may all be for naught.  After a LOT of finger pricks, I’m learning that things are actually looking a lot better than they origionally did look.  My blood sugar is well within normal rage 2 hours after eating regardless of what I eat.  Mind you, I’m not eating any processed grains or sugars, so that helps, but  I really have nothing to worry about in that department.  Additionally, my blood sugar looks really good if I fast between meals and don’t eat a snack.  It can even get into the low normal range.  HOWEVER, the problem seems to be the 12 hour fasting levels.  Every 12 hour fasting level has failed the test.  Many of them are by less than 5 points, but some of them are by more than 15 points.  My midwives and I are starting to think it is not much to worry about, but we have to do more testing in a week to see where everything is.

And as this goes on, I only have a few more weeks to really get serious about really cleaning the house and wrapping up any projects I need to do before there is a possibility that I have another baby to care for.  The list is not long, and everything for the baby is set up, but I am wrapping up really old agreements and finising old projects.  There is also the very important project of spending time with the darling angel that I have already managed to birth and keep alive for 2 years.

The more challenging it gets, the more positive that I feel.  It seems a little backward, but I’m happy that it is turning out that way.  At the risk of sounding whiny, this is more than any mama should ever have to deal with at one time though, and I look forward to meeting the alien that has expanded my belly.

posted under Pregnancy
One Comment to

“Being Pregnant is Hard to Do”

  1. On May 25th, 2009 at 5:53 PM Melissa Says:

    Wow, I’m really glad to hear about your blood sugar doing so well. Good job! :)

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